Solitary

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Finally! The long break I've been dying for has been given to me, to us, advertising students. The Good Lord has answered my prayer, our prayers.

But I just realized how selfish I was for being very happy while others are in grief and in danger. I am glad for the long break, since I get to have a lot of time to do my requirements for the Discover Robinsons Malls magazine; but I became sad when I heard the news tonight. Schools in Malabon will again be suspended because of the flood caused by the storm, Glenda (which was supposed to be Gloria, but due to the "respect" they wanted to give to the President, they changed the latter to the former.). It has been raining for a couple of days already. I fear for the lives of those who are in danger. I wish not one life would be taken again.

I'm just taking a break from a busy day. As I've mentioned earlier, I'm doing the magazine thing. I'm quite tired, but my hands still "magnetized" me to these keys. I remembered my Aunt's story about her son, who is my cousin, HAHA obviously. She narrated how when she found her son already infront of their pc though he just woke up, she tried to reprimand him but she laughed when he answered, "Eh Mommy, parang may magnet tong upuan natoh kaya nandito ako." Now that was one hilarious answer coming from a 5-year old kid. Pretty mature already huh? That's my cousin. And I am missing him already. He's somewhere in California, I think. Yea somewhere in the United States, generally. Memory loss. BAwal ang pork.

Wow, just when I thought I'd have a long conversation with him. Hmm i should have replied to him immediately, now he hasn't replied. Aww. This bites.Sarcasm.

Then again...

Saturday, July 22, 2006

Just a while ago, the rain again made me think of everything that had occurred to me over the last four weeks. I began to feel annoyed, confused and melancholic.

Annoyed.
I should not be someone’s possession for nobody owns me – yet.

Someone has been annoying me through his daily messages and has also been the reason for a lost opportunity for my possible long term bliss. I sound selfish, I admit, for I do not acknowledge your concern for my own happiness. You told me something I had dreaded to hear. To my dismay, I lost my latest infatuation because of it. You told me how rotten my favorite Chocolate was; I became furious and instantly despised you. You told me that Soccer has been pleasing another audience. I felt hopeless right away. I reacted in such a way that it would hide my fresh wound. I used a bandage to cover it up, but I know you were still aware of it. Or I am I mistaken? Now Soccer is releasing its hold on me. It became distant. And it’s this Someone’s fault. Hatred augments.

Confused.
Long before my system completely disliked and no longer accepted my Chocolate, I became familiar with Soccer. It was an unexpected acquaintance and beginning of a current emotion. I tried hard to be over my cravings for my Chocolate while enjoying the delight Soccer had been giving me. Then a goal has been achieved. I have somewhat forgotten my Chocolate. But unexpectedly, just like it started, it also ended the same way. I was left clinging to the bliss that soccer has brought me to. It all came to an end. I did not know what happened or what went wrong. Still, I am there until today. I never asked questions, I never researched. I just let the waves crash through me. I am drowning, without something to save me. Soccer isn’t there. Soccer has been pleasing another audience.

I am mystified. Soccer’s gift of attention and its sudden loss has been and remains a mystery to me until today.

Melancholic.
I feel miserable over the past few days. I have been longing for Soccer’s blissful consideration of giving me a renewed attitude. But I realized, I am already longing for nothing at all. Things are no longer the same as yesterday. There are no more late – night Soccer exposures through text. I can no longer read anything from it. He is fading away, though he still is there.

It really pains me for Soccer might have been the last piece to complete my puzzle. It might have been the one that I have been looking for and not my Chocolate.

How I wish this would hit the ones concerned, especially Soccer. Bang on the head. Head bat. Whatever.

Then again...

Saturday, July 08, 2006

Strange and Beautiful (i'll Put a Spell on You) by Aqualung

I am no stalker like that woman character in the movie, Wicker Park. I just felt that these lines were actually parts of what I feel and what I want to say to this person. (i bet you know who i'm referring to. It's already too obvious.I've been feeling for him for over a couple of months, been through a lot of emo moments and all. But damn, I'm still there.)

I've been watching your world from afar
I've been trying to be where you are
And I've been secretly falling apart
Unseen
To me, you're strange and you're beautiful
You'd be so perfect with me
But you just can't see
You turn every head but you don't see me

I'll put a spell on you
You'll fall asleep
When I put a spell on you
And when I wake you I'll be the first thing you see
And you'll realize that you love me
Sometimes the last thing you want comes in first
Sometimes the first thing you want never comes
But I know that waiting is all you can do
Sometimes...

I'll put a spell on you
You'll fall asleep
I'll put a spell on you
And when I wake you
I'll be the first thing you see
And you'll realise that you love me.

I'll put a spell on you
You'll fall asleep 'cos I'll put a spell on you
And when I wake you
I'll be the first thing you see
And you'll realise that you love me... yeah.

Then again...